Now I’m in Romania. Home to the Romans. J

I was indoctrinated to the Gypsy culture within 15 minutes of my arrival in Bucharest.

Due to my innumerous travels, I have earned status on United. I am still jammed in coach and forced to pay $5 of a bottle of crappy wine; however, but my luggage now receives priority service. The hero this silly tale is a basic black piece ol’ crap carry-on size bag replete with a big orange name tag. United added another big orange “priority” tag as their attempt to adopt feng shui.

True to their unwritten promise, United and the airport gave my bag priority and it was first off the conveyor belt. As I approached the baggage claim, to retrieve my double orange tagged bag, a 60 year old lady grabbed it, turned it upside down to hide the orange tags and placed it among her 5 other pieces of luggage (where the heck did she find these other bags??). Unfazed, I briskly walked through her bevy of suspect luggage, picked up my bag, and preceded to customs. She can go rest in heck with the onion ring thief from San Jose.